The Anxious Depressive's guide part 2Welcome to the Anxious Depressive's guide to Dating, Dumping and Moving On part 2here at the Anxious Depressives Institute (ADI) we (I) have noticed that humanity needs some serious rules and/or guidelines when it comes to the realms of dating, dumping and moving on. Through these semi-regular updates, we (I) hope to bring to you, our (my) readers some insight as to what/what not to do. Dating The Dating section each update will include some helpful tips for dating, finding date, finding one night stands and whether or not that girl in the corner with the sharp hooks will use them as a gateway into the conversation and then your spleen. Dumping The Dumping section each update will include do's and do not's for dumping and being dumped, most handy if your common sense has been destroyed by a former love or a wild new flame. Moving On The Moving On section each update will include tips, advice and anecdotes on the subject of moving on and how best to approach it THUS: Without any further ado, i give youthe first update to "The Anxious Depressive's Guide to Dating, Dumping and Moving On. Dating Rule 2 do not hit things tied up, they swing back and hit you hard. if you find that the girl/boy you are hitting on, or is hitting on you is taken. EVEN IF they stress that it is an open relationship. Do not pursue them any further. If they are hitting on you, no matter how attractive they are, do not do it. There are several reasons for this. a) you will find your features will remain roughly where they are, with no sticky blood coating. b) you will gain a reputation as being "chivalrous" and "classy" as opposed to a "skank", "womaniser" or the kind of guy/girl who cheats. when you keep this reputation, it is much easier for you to find yourself a stable relationship, what with potential love interests believing you to be a low risk of infidelity. Or at least to have a lower rate of STD's. on top of this, people will like you more if you arent responsible for so and so's relationship breakdown c) if you hit that, theres always the possibility that the night will be interupted by their supposedly significant other coming home, ruining what should have been a good time. c) if you hit that, and people find out that you hit that, other people are going to find out that you hit that. People will be nagging you for weeks, that girls female friends will be bitching at you the whole time, that guys friends will be hitting you up, trying to get in your pants (the friends of the hot ones arent usually that hot), the partner will find out and get their friends to hassle you about it, or hassle you themselves - possibly rearranging your face at the same time play it safe, play it cool. dont hit the tied up stuff Dumping Rule 2 If you're planning on dumping the person, dont say "we need to talk" when you arent going to be able to have the talk. Those four words without the "this isnt working out" (or variants thereof) following after are just harrowing. I myself had a girlfriend who said that every day for a week before she finally ended it. The wait was more painful than the fateful truth, because i held onto hope that she was just talking about getting another tattoo or something. Dont do it, it just hurts. Moving On Rule 1 The minimum time you should leave between the end of one relationship and the start of another is two weeks. THE END comes when you officially break it off with the person. Not when you think you're not in love anymore, not when you decide to break up with them, but at least two weeks from the day you leave them for good. if you care at all about your soon to be ex partner's feelings, and you think that they will have a tough time adjusting to life without you. Wait one week per month you've been together (to a minimum of two weeks, naturally). This is the time that psychologists have determined to be the average time for a person to be newly adjusted to their new life. for a basis as to why this rule is here, look to rule one for dumping. _______________________________________ This concludes our second installment of The Anxious Depressive's Guide to Dating, Dumping and Moving On. if you have any rules, anecdotes or tips* that you would like to submit, please email them to: matrix17@hotmail.co.uk *submitted rules, anecdotes or tips may not all be published in The Guide. They will be posted as "anonymous" by request. |
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